Monday, December 1, 2008


Jeez its fucking december.

Projects: One thing at a time.

So, in my effort to improve my life, I've decided to edit out a lot of the things I do. I mentioned this in an earlier post, that I have a lot of things weighing me down. Lots of things I'd like to do, that I theoretically have time to do, but that in reality just end up being overlapping commitments. Aikido and Kyudo. Japanese and English. Meditation and working out. Photography. Vegetarianism. Learning to cook. Girls. Friends. I want to do it all. I *should* do it all, but I cant. At least, not to the point where I can make everything a "priority." So this semester, i'm trying to tackle one thing at a time. Keep a few obligations, and the rest is just stuff to do in my free time. So, for now I'm working on three projects:

First, the sleeping and waking up project. This is my demon, i guess, something I've been working on since I got here. how to sleep enough and wake up on time. I go through periods of being good about it, and being bad about it, but at the end of the day, the goal of this project is to learn how to go to bed on time and how to wake up when I need to, habitually. From there, the sub-goal of getting to school on time *should* fall into place. I haven't really been late this year much (maybe about three times) but in the past few weeks its been getting more and more giri-giri, that is, close to the bell. This project could last the rest of my life, i suppose, but one thing I think I'm going to re-implement is a chart system for monitoring my progress on this project. Of course, I'll have to make it. we'll see. I need to think more about this project, since it's only now that I'm labeling it a "project," and think about how to break down these goals even more.

Second, Excercising (Swimming.) This is the easiest of the three. The only goal is to go to the gym for a 1hr 15 minutes 3x/week. So far, I've been pretty good about it. If i go on MWF, then I don't even have to do anything when I go to the gym. There's a class and someone tells me what to do. I do it. No problem. I love being told what to do. Thinking for myself is a pain in the ass. Or rather, not so much thinking for myself, but deciding for myself how to act is a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, that, apparently, is what "real life" and "adulthood" is all about. "freedom"
is doing what you want to do. What about when deciding what to do becomes a burden? Ok, thats a tangent.

Third. Nihongo. The goal of this project is to kick japanese's ass. Completely and thouroughly. The barrier shall fall, and this language shall crumble at my feet before me. It is only a matter of time.

So, only three things. Unfortunately other important things. Meditation, Aikido, Photography, etc. Have to fall by the wayside until i get better at these three things. Not to say I'll stop doing them, they just won't be priorities for now.

Unfortuately these three projects really have no deadline. I should get that worked out, i suppose. Without a deadline, I could just go on forever without bringing the other stuff back into my life. Like, I'd like to be more serious about meditation. I want to eventually do some more english reading, I want to do the stylelife challenge. I want to learn how to cook better. But im putting that off until I can manage these three things first, the basics. Just the doing of them, showing up, (on time) as khatz sez. In fact, even having three things is probably too much, but that can't really be avoided. And I should mention that the priority above all of these is work. Doing what needs to be done at school. (and also figuring out what needs to be done) Ok, enough for now. Back to work.