another frustrating thing

the frustrating thing is that as i write such depressing things about this country, i become depressed in response. a self fulfilling prophecy. if i write "i don't like my job" or "i can't be a real teacher" or "i don't like living here" it just becomes reality. on one hand, that's my real feelings. On the other, that's not the reality I want to create. I want to be a real teacher. I want to like my job. i want to like living here. so maybe i should write "I do like my job" I am a real teacher" and "i love living here." See, just writing that makes me feel better.